You Cannot Have
by Rei Eien
Summary: Ichigo and Rukia are in love and engaged to be married. But something happens a month before they wed. Fleeing back to her safe haven she deals with the lost, betrayal and pain. How will fate deal her stack of cards? Will there be redemption and salvation? Is love truly blind? Or will true love show its true meaning?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Inspired by the song, Gajilsu Eobsneun Neo, by Baengkeu (가질수 없는 너 by뱅크). Set after Aizen's defeat. Rating may change as story progresses. I apologize in advance for any grammar/spelling errors.  
>Warning: Characters may be OOC. Do not read if you like Orihime.<p>

' ' denotes thoughts by the character.  
><em>Italics <em> denotes dreaming/flashback

**Disclaimer:** **Bleach concept and characters belong to Kubo Tite. The story is mine. This is for pure entertainment and no money is made from this.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

The crisp autumn breeze lightly swept the loose strands of ebony hair that would have normally been held in place by his kenseikan. Sitting just outside the room on the engawa, Kuchiki Byakuya gazed out into the night. This night was no ordinary night; the full moon shines its beautiful light over the tranquil gardens in the Kuchiki manor giving it a majestically aura.

His ears picked up the soft rustling of sheets which drew his attention back inside of the room. His slate gray eyes take in the beauty before him, burning it into his memories to save it for the cold lonely nights up ahead. The thought of the loneliness that is to come with the rising sun made him smirk in hopeless irony of the situation. Opening more of the shoji, letting the cool night air circulates the room, he moves about gracefully as he returns to her side and sitting down beside her slumbering body not too far from where he had been sitting in the engawa. His hand reaches out and moves some strands of hair that has matted itself to a part of her face.

'She's beautiful,' his thoughts says as his eyes can't help admire her sleeping form.

The hand that interlaced with her black hair now moves to caress her cheeks lovingly. Even in the darkness of the night, her cheeks still held the coloring of one his favorite roses, the Conrad Ferdinand Meyer rose. Recalling hours earlier when she came into the room, pale and fragile with tears running down her face.

It breaks his heart every time he sees her like that. Outside in the public eye, she would be the perfect woman; not showing any pain, tears or discomfort and fooling those around her that she was doing well and moving on. However, in private and in the safety of Byakuya's arms, she would cave to her despair and cry her heart out. He always held her close giving her the shoulder to cry on, the chest to bare all her pain and the arms that protectively shields her from the nightmares.

"After 7 months, it all comes down to this doesn't it?" he whispers quietly to the darkness. Picking up one of the bottles of sake that was still on a warming plate from an hour ago, he pours himself a drink. Bringing it to his lips, he lets the luke-warm fluid coat his dry throat. He refills his sake cup again and brings it back to his lips.

As he looks up to the moon who's gazing down on his wary soul, he asks a rhetorical question, "Is love truly blind?"

As he finishes the first bottle of sake, he reaches for another bottle as he places the empty one near the tray that already was full of empty porcelain sake bottles. Furrowing his brows at the discarded and empty bottles, he muses, 'How many did we drink this time? 8, 10 or 15 bottles?'

He doesn't care to count, because counting the bottles would be pointless. He takes another drink of the almost cold sake and stares into the night as he thinks back on all that has happened and if he could have made any difference to the fate he faces when dawn approaches.

**7 months ago in the human world…**

The first week of March could not have been any busier for the fukutaichō of the 13th Division, Kuchiki Rukia. She had requested the next couple of days off in order to finalize all the arrangements of her upcoming wedding to Kurosaki Ichigo.

She was on cloud nine and was happily waiting in the dressing room of the bridal salon for her final fitting of her wedding dress. Rukia still cannot believe all that has happened since Ichigo defeated Aizen just five months ago. Even harder to believe that in those short five months so many life changing events has happened to them; from Ichigo losing his shinigami powers, to them realizing they love each other, Rukia's promotion to fukutaichō, Ichigo proposing on Valentine's Day and to their upcoming nuptials just 4 weeks away.

The attendant returned with her wedding dress and proceeded to help Rukia into the cumbersome gown. Once finally dressed she was brought out of the dressing room to the sitting area where her maid of honor, Inoue Orihime and her bridesmaids, Matsumoto Rangiku, her future sisters-in-laws, Karin and Yuzu. Also present is her future father-in-law, Kurosaki Isshin and Kuchiki Ginrei, her adopted grandfather, who had the distinct honor of walking her down the aisle.

Ginrei felt honored when Rukia asked him to escort her down the aisle. In the 50 years that he's had the pleasure of watching Rukia grow as a shinigami and as a woman, he could honestly say he was proud of her. And he has come to love her as if she was his own flesh and blood, even if there were doubts in the beginning.

He had to admit, when Byakuya told him he was going to adopt Rukia because of his promise to his dying wife on her death bed that he would find her baby sister and become her brother, Ginrei had a lot of concerns. Hisana, Rukia's biological older sister, was never fully accepted into the Kuchiki clan. And her short five years that she had been Byakuya's wife, she spent 95% of the time in bed due to her illness.

Since retiring from the Gotei 13, Ginrei finally had the time to do what he wanted. He wanted to travel and see the world. He has spent a lot of time now in the human world visiting many different countries. He keeps in touch with the family with Urahara Kisuke's assistance. Plus, Ginrei and Shihōin Yoruichi are long time friends. So naturally, Yoruichi would sometimes travel with Ginrei as she herself is an explorer.

Ginrei couldn't be happier to take a break from his travels since his granddaughter is getting married. Even though he had his doubts of Kurosaki Ichigo, he had to admit that since his father was he former taichō of the 10th Division and still current head of the Shiba clan, Shiba Isshin, Ginrei would give her his blessings. Ginrei also has had a long history with Shiba Isshin and the Shiba clan, regardless of Isshin changing his last name from Shiba to Kurosaki.

Now waiting patiently with Isshin and her friends, he couldn't wait to see her in her wedding gown. He wouldn't have missed this opportunity for the word. Seeing his grandchildren healthy, happy and content is all he can ask or wish for, making him happy as well.

Hush silence fills the room as they all stop chatting when all eyes saw Rukia entering the room in her off-white strapless A-line gown with jewel embellishments with a ribbon tied off to the side enhancing the waist. It's a Katsura Yumi haute couture design that had been specifically requested and tailored to Rukia's physique.

Both Ginrei and Isshin eyes begins to tear up at the emotion caused by Rukia's radiance in her wedding gown. Rukia could see the love and warmth in their eyes and it causes her to have teary eyes. The girls in the room immediately all fawn over her and gush about how beautiful she looks. With the exception of Rangiku, who had accompanied her to shop for a wedding dress, no one else had seen it before now.

"Rukia, you will make my son fall to his knees when he sees you walk down the aisle," Isshin told her lovingly as he wipes a tear drop from his eye. "I had already considered you as my third daughter from the beginning," he continues and pulls her into a tight hug. "Now, I am equally happy to call you my daughter-in-law."

While everyone happily celebrated around Rukia, Karin noticed Orihime's sadden expression when she thought no one was watching her. Karin, who was very perceptive for her age, had known all along of Orihime's crush on Ichigo. She knew of the subtle attempts of Orihime trying to catch Ichigo's attention when Rukia was back in Soul Society. While Karin and Yuzu had no reason not to like Orihime, they didn't know her all that well either.

The sisters loved Rukia. She would hang out with them, go shopping with them and even cooked with them when Rukia wasn't busy doing her shinigami duties while in the human world. Rukia was not all focused on Ichigo; she gave everyone in the family all of her attention when attention was needed, just like an older sister would. And Rukia made up for the fact that Ichigo sometimes wasn't the observant older brother unless danger was eminent and protecting them became a priority.

'Why do I have a sinking suspicion that Orihime isn't truly happy for Rukia?' Karin thought to herself as she observes Orihime.

Yuzu whispers into Karin's ears when she notices her sister's eyes narrow slightly in concentration as she looks at Orihime, "Don't worry Karin. I doubt Orihime will try to come between Ichigo and Rukia now. After all, she is Rukia's maid of honor." Nudging Karin slightly to let her worries go and enjoy the moment with Rukia, urges her by saying, "Let it go Karin."

Orihime looks at the sisters as she felt someone watching her. She quickly fakes a bright smile at them hiding her real emotions. Orihime had been lost in her own emotions and thoughts as soon as Rukia came into the room. She felt as if her world had gotten a lot smaller once she saw Rukia in her wedding gown. While she was outwardly happy for Rukia, she was inwardly sad and envious. She knew all along that Ichigo and Rukia were in love, but it didn't stop her from loving Ichigo and even trying to gain his love and affections when Rukia wasn't around. 'Sure Rukia is my friend. But I have love Ichigo for years; even before she came into his life. I can't give him up so easily…even to a friend,' she reasons with herself.

Bracing herself, Orihime inhales a deep breath calming her nerves. 'It's now or never,' she muses if she wants to keep Rukia from marrying Ichigo.

"Ahem…Rukia," Orihime says a bit loudly drawing Rukia's attention.

"Yes, Orihime," Rukia happily addresses her maid of honor.

Orihime looks down briefly at her fidgeting hands before stopping herself and making two firm fists at her side as she looks up staring Rukia in the face as she says with determination, "I cannot allow you to marry Ichigo! Not when I am pregnant with his baby."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Inspired by the song, Gajilsu Eobsneun Neo, by Baengkeu. Set after Aizen's defeat. Rating may change. Thank you for reading this story. And to those who review, favs and follows, a special thank you to you all. It humbles me greatly that you all enjoy what I write. My apologies for any grammar/spelling errors.  
>Warning(s): AU. OOC. Do not read if you like Orihime.<p>

' ' denotes thoughts by the character.  
><em>Italics <em> denotes dreaming/flashback

**Disclaimer:** **Bleach concept and characters belong to Kubo Tite. The story is mine. This is for pure entertainment and no money is made from this.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

Inoue Orihime finally tells her secret, one that she had been hiding for the last couple of weeks, to everyone in the room that she was pregnant with Ichigo's baby. At first everyone didn't know what to make of it seeing that it was such shocking news that thwarted the joyous occasion. Rukia's mind couldn't wrap around the words declared by Orihime. She could only stare at her friend and maid of honor with wide eyes and open mouth, which she finally closed when her voice had left her.

Rangiku was the first to recover from the news. She glared at Orihime and said to her, "Orihime, is this a joke? If it is, it isn't funny. Why would you ruin your friend's happy moment?"

All eyes in the room, including the attendant's, looks at Orihime with varying degrees of shock, confusion and disgust. It didn't perturb her that she was being glared at or judged. All she cares at this moment was Ichigo and their unborn baby are hers and hers alone.

"It's no joke," she says calmly as she faces Rangiku's stern gaze. And before anyone could ask or voice any comments, Orihime tells them, "It happened the day before Valentine's Day, Ichigo was nervous about asking Rukia to marry him. I helped him rehearse his proposal and then…," Orihime paused to take in a deep breath before continuing, "…one thing led to another and we made love." Orihime made put more emphasis on "we made love" as if she was proud of what she and Ichigo had done.

Rukia felt her body shiver slightly as tears begins to fall from her violet eyes that no longer held the brilliance it first had when she walked out in her wedding dress. She couldn't believe that Ichigo and her close friend would sleep together behind her back. 'Of course I knew that Orihime had feelings for Ichigo, but Ichigo had never voiced or made any comments, notion, or actions suggesting he liked Orihime more than a friend,' Rukia said to herself. At a loss for words and frozen solid, Rukia could only stare at Orihime as her happiness shattered into a million pieces.

**Slap!**

"You bitch! How could you do that to your friend? You have no scruples!" Karin fumed after she had walked up to Orihime surprising her with a hard slap. Her right hand stung from the amount of force she used in slapping Orihime and leaving the girl with a red hand print across her face, but that was the least of her worries.

Karin didn't care if she was only in junior high school. She didn't care that she had just slapped and called Orihime a "bitch" because Orihime deserved that. Karin was pissed at her and at Ichigo. Even though in the back of her mind she knew Orihime had been up to no good, this catastrophic news will only end up tearing everyone apart. And it has begun to eat away at everything she holds dear.

Yuzu quickly pulls her twin sister away knowing that Karin would probably slap Orihime again if she didn't. While Yuzu agrees with Karin's sentiments, she didn't voice them. But she did manage to say something that brought everyone back to reality, "Orihime, I don't think you should come around us for a while." Yuzu tears started falling freely as she spoke the remaining words that she knew everyone felt, "You have done a wrong thing to all of us; especially Rukia. I cannot accept what you did." Yuzu's sniffles as she tries to control her voice. She was overwhelmed with shock, hurt and hate that she could no longer contain the pain. "I will never accept you in our family, even if you are the mother of Ichigo-nii's child," she said with conviction.

Karin hugs Yuzu as she cries. Isshin's heart breaks for his daughters, all three of them. He goes over to hug Karin and Yuzu trying to comfort them. He looks over at Rukia whose tears runs down her face like a waterfall. He wants nothing but to ease her pain and tells her everything will be alright. But he knows he can't; he can only give her his love and support. He opened his mouth, about to say something to Rukia when he saw Ginrei moved protectively to Rukia.

Ginrei, who had been quiet and watching everything blow up before his eyes, taps the attendant on her shoulder and signaling for her to take Rukia back into the dressing room. He then takes the last steps over towards Rukia, pulling her into his arms and whispers to her, "Let's go home my dear."

Rukia couldn't focus clearly through her silent tears, but she knew it was Ginrei who embraced her before he spoke to her. She could only nod at his command knowing there wasn't anything she could say or do.

As Rukia left, Orihime called out to her, "I'm sorry Rukia. But I love Ichigo and I know he loves me, even if he doesn't admit it."

Rukia paused as she was halfway out of the door upon hearing Orihime's parting words. It was like pouring salt on an open wound. If looks could kill, 7 pairs of eyes would have made Orihime drop dead in a nanosecond.

Rangiku, who had kept her mouth shut out of respect for Rukia, had finally heard enough and now Orihime's deliberate and hurtful words at the end pushed her over the edge. "Orihime, you need to leave…NOW," she spit the words out with as much constrained venom as possible.

"I agree. You need to leave," Isshin says in agreement with his former fukutaichō. While Isshin is a laid back and a tolerant father, this was beyond his level of acceptance. He thought he had raised his children right. But he could not have predicted his son to mess up his life; along with Rukia's and even Orihime's life, despite the fact that he does not like the burnt orange hair girl at this moment.

"Kurosaki-san, I am going to have your grandchild. I hope you will come to accept us as you do with Rukia," she said without any malice. She merely only wanted him and his family to give her and Ichigo a chance.

"Leave Orihime," he told her firmly before Rangiku lost her composure and bitch slap the girl.

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><p>After the attendant brought Rukia back into her dressing room to change, she left after loosening the bindings and allowed Rukia some space. The attendant was wise enough to know that there weren't any words she could say to the broken hearted girl that would console her. 'Poor girl. What a fiasco,' the attendant thought as she left Rukia's side.<p>

Inside her dressing room, Rukia cried. There was so much she wanted to say to Orihime, but couldn't get the words out. She couldn't believe her good friend and maid of honor would do that to her on what had started out as one of the best days of her life. But, what was she suppose to do now? She was still in her wedding dress and it fit perfectly like a glove. She looks at herself through tear redden eyes; she looks almost beautiful if she wasn't in such despair.

'I need to confront Ichigo but what do I say?' she questions herself as she picks up her mobile phone and pulling up his mobile number.

After debating silently for a few moments, the hurt and pain being too insufferable, her mind wasn't thinking straight any more and she decides to send him a text.

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><p>Kurosaki Ichigo could not have been happier today. His fiancée was having her final fitting for her wedding dress and he went to the tailors for his final fitting of his tuxedo. He was going to rent one, but after much consideration, he wanted to treasure his wedding day with Rukia with as much mementos and memories.<p>

He was walking home when he felt his mobile phone vibrate in his front pocket. Reaching in, his phone displays a text message notification. When he sees the name of its sender, he smiles in glee. He couldn't wait to see her soon since he had plans for them to have a romantic dinner tonight.

Opening the text, he begins to read the words that made time stop and the weight of the world crashed into his entire being. His heart stopped as he clearly read the words, "Orihime told me you made love with her and she's now pregnant with your child."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you for reading this story. And a double "Thank you" for all your reviews, favs and follows. I really appreciate them. Again, my apologies for any grammar/spelling that MS Word and I have overlooked.

' ' denotes thoughts by the character.  
><em>Italics <em> denotes dreaming/flashback

**Disclaimer:** **Bleach concept and characters belong to Kubo Tite. The story is mine. This is for pure entertainment and no money is made from this.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 <strong>

Outside in the waiting area of the wedding dress boutique, her friends and family were each lost in their own thoughts. It could be said that they were all thinking the same thing, "How could Ichigo and Orihime do this to Rukia?"

Matsumoto Rangiku, the fukutaichō of the 10th Division, had become Rukia's friend after the death of her mentor, Shiba Kaien. Rangiku watched Rukia come into her own person as a shinigami, a Kuchiki and now a fukutaichō that was just about to marry the love of her life, Kurosaki Ichigo. But thanks to Orihime, the "happily ever after" came tumbling down.

The long wavy blond hair and blue eyes could not help recalling one of the conversations she had with Orihime about how much she envied Rukia, because compared to her, she was the one that changed his life. Orihime knew that Ichigo risked everything for her, even his own life. Orihime knew then she would never be able to catch Ichigo's heart for it had already belonged to Rukia.

Rangiku wondered if she had said anything to spawn Orihime to do something so rash and with lack of principles that she would hurt Rukia, Ichigo, Ichigo's family, Rukia's family, and all the people that mattered to them, including Orihime herself. While Rangiku certainly didn't disagree with Orihime's assessment, she did tell Orihime that she is her own person, with her own talents and gifts that make her special among her friends. And that Ichigo needs friends like Orihime, Chad and Uryū. 'She could not have misinterpreted that could she?' Rangiku's mind questioned.

Kurosaki Isshin couldn't contain his displeasure at what just happened. His three precious daughters were hurting. He has always seen Rukia as his third daughter from the time he allowed her to live with them in his home. He love her spunk and the way she held her own next to his not so level headed son, Ichigo. She had a way getting him to realize things without pushing him over the top. He noticed right away how Ichigo was drawn to her, even if he would have never admitted it then. She changed his life and changed it for the better. Isshin was proud of both of them and could not have been happier to have them two united in matrimony.

"This changes everything doesn't it?" he broke the silence among them as he contemplated out loud.

Kuchiki Ginrei was thinking about Rukia and how it would be best to get her home, back to Seireitei and back to Kuchiki manor where she can deal with things privately. He knows she's too proud to ask for help and wouldn't want the whole world see her fall apart. And then there was the concern of dealing with Ichigo, her fiancée or in most appropriate term now, ex-fiancée if he has anything to say about this.

"Shiba-san," Ginrei called for his attention. "I believe it would be best for all of us to return to our respective homes. I know there were other things schedule for today; however, in light of this news of Ichigo's fathering a child with Orihime, I do not believe continuing down this path would be wise for both our families," he says in the diplomatic tone that Isshin knew all too well; this was Kuchiki Ginrei taichō speaking in such a tone that left no room for debate, opinion or discussion.

"Kuchiki-sama," Yuzu's timid voice spoke to him. "Are you taking Ruki-nee away from us?" she asked with concern.

Ginrei looks at her kindly and says to her, "Yuzu-chan, I am only taking her home so that she can work through her emotions. If she was to stay here, it would not do her any good to be confronted with Orihime again. Nothing good would come out of this. Not for Rukia, Ichigo and even Orihime."

Yuzu still didn't want Rukia to leave. She knew that Karin and her dad both loved her and was looking forward to her truly being a part of their family. But hearing the slight icy under tones from Kuchiki-sama, it seems Rukia may no longer be a part of the Kurosaki family. She didn't want to see their happy family torn apart over something stupid that Ichigo did with Orihime. She couldn't be mad at Kuchiki-sama for taking Rukia home. It would not be fair to vent her anger on him when the anger should be directed at Ichigo and Orihime.

"Ichigo-nii, why did you have to go and ruin a good thing? Possibly the best thing that has ever happened to all of us,' Yuzu says so softly, that only Karin and Isshin, who were all still in a loose embrace, could hear.

Karin squeezes Yuzu's tightly in an effort to comfort her. She wishes she had answers for her twin. She was hurt and mad too. And if she saw her older brother, she was sure going to tell him how bad he had messed things up.

"Kuchiki-sama," Isshin addresses him, "I understand you want what's best for Rukia as do I and my daughters." He nodded his head towards Karin and Yuzu for emphasis knowing how much the girls love Rukia. "I do wish that they will be able to visit with Rukia soon and that this situation will be resolved quickly so that things can be back on track," he said hopefully.

Rangiku watched and listened to the conversation not feeling it was her place to add her two cents. Her only concern was for her friend, Rukia.

'Just how would things be resolve amicably between Ichigo and Rukia? There's no way that Rukia will be able to simply stand back, forgive Ichigo and still marry him knowing Orihime will have his first child. It would be an emotional nightmare and dysfunctional drama in the long run. It won't be the fairy tale ending with the happily ever after,' her mind tells her.

And if she knows anything about the Kuchiki clan, between Ginrei and Byakuya alone, hell will have to freeze over before they will allow Rukia to marry Ichigo.

'Just wait until Kuchiki taichō hears about this,' Rangiku says to herself as she imagines Byakuya's reaction to the news.

"Kuchiki taichō…Rukia…is his pride," she mentions absentmindedly. A shiver runs down her spine as cold sweat begins to form on her forehead. The image of slight upturned lips mimicking a tiny hint of a smile just before Byakuya deals out his final blow using his bankai to vanquish his enemy.

Ginrei's and Isshin's eyes meet as soon Rangiku mentions "Rukia…is his pride." Both men's eyes had the dangerous glint in them knowing exactly what that meant.

"Rangiku-san, what does it mean when you said, "Rukia is his pride?" asked a confused Yuzu.

"Does this mean that someone is going to get his butt kicked?" Karin asks.

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><p>"F-FU-FUCK!" Ichigo yelled in frustration, guilt and nervousness as he stared at the text message from Rukia. He didn't care who had heard him. He didn't care that the wandering people around him talked about his "bad" behavior. He was reeling from the shock that deflated his balloon that was filled with happiness and love. Part of his brain was telling him, 'Shit! Shit! This can't be happening; this can't be real.' The other part was saying, 'Did you honestly think you'll get your happy ending with Rukia when you slept with Orihime?'<p>

Eyes still wide as saucers, his hand gripping his phone and legs refusing to take another step he tried to think what he could say to her to rectify the situation. Ichigo's mind and heart was racing at 161 kmph (100 mph) with a million thoughts trying to make things right with Rukia.

'I love you so much Rukia. I don't want to lose you,' was all he could think. 'Fuck, what do I do now?' He was mentally lost. He didn't know what he should do first. Standing in the same spot since he saw the text from Rukia, he contemplated his options.

'Should I just call Rukia? But what do I say? "Hey, we need to talk." Duh! That's a given idiot. Just say "I'm sorry." No, that seems so generic and contrite now that Orihime told her. F-fuck! Orihime…shit shit shit!' his mind wages a silent war as all the love, hurt, remorse, anger and hate course through his system. He closes his eyes as wish with all his being that this wasn't happening to him and that it's all a bad dream.

Just then his cell phone rang. Opening his eyes he looked at the caller ID and read the one person's name he didn't feel like talking to right now. He hit decline on the phone as he decided he should talk with Rukia. With some sort of resolve, he called Rukia and prayed that she would answer. He listened as it rang and when he heard the line pick up he thought it would be Rukia herself not the auto voice messaging system. "F-fuck!" he exclaimed in frustration at himself. Either way he had to do the right thing now; he had to find a way to make things right.

His phone beeped letting him know another call was coming in, he looked at it for a second hoping it was Rukia calling him back. Seeing it wasn't her, he chose to ignore the person again. 'I'll deal with her later,' he thought to himself as he only wanted to focus on Rukia right now.

Hearing the beep, Ichigo takes a deep breath before saying, "Rukia, I'm sorry. I'm so very very sorry. I…I love you very much. Please, please let me explain. I'm almost home…please, come home. I'll wait for you." He pauses as he lets out the breath he's been holding before continuing, "I love you Rukia," and with that he disconnected the call still gripping the phone as if it was his life line.

Praying silently with his eyes closed, he hopes to Gods that she will come home so that he could explain to her and she'll forgive him. 'Please forgive me Rukia,' he prayed as he finally manages to take a step forward heading towards his home.

His phone rang and he looked at it. The caller ID displayed, "Inoue Orihime." He hit "reject" again. 'I don't want to deal with you now. Not after what you did to Rukia,' he silently says to himself as he makes his way home to wait for Rukia.

* * *

><p>Rukia sat silently as her tears didn't stop flowing down her face no matter how many tissues she used to wipe them away. She looks at the phone as it beeps letting her know that she has a voice message. She didn't trust her voice to answer the phone when she saw that Ichigo was calling her instead of texting back.<p>

She didn't know if she was scared of the truth or that she simply didn't want to confront Ichigo, she just simply could not find her voice or the strength to speak with him. She silently debated with herself if she wanted to listen to his voice message; part of her is afraid that it was the truth and that he didn't love her any more. But the other part was holding onto the hope that Ichigo still loves her and didn't betray her.

With trembling hands, she played the voice message. After listening to the message again on speaker, she was even more confused, hurt, and insecure. Rationally, if felt like he admit to betraying her even though he loves her. But it did not make sense to her, not when her thoughts and feelings were chaotic.

"What do I do now?" she whispers softly to the empty dressing room as she continues to shed tears of pain.

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><p>AN: Chapter 4 will be released over the weekend. If you want to know when I update, check out my update status at the bottom of my profile page for more information on when I will update my stories. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thank you for reading this story. And a big thank you for those who took the time to review, fav, and follow. My apologies for any grammar/spelling error that MS Word and I have overlooked.

To Anya (guest reviewer): This story is purely angst. And I am with you in your sentiment. But people are blinded by love they don't always make the right decisions.

To Shanoko (guest reviewer): Thank you for your kind reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

To Cat (guest reviewer): Thank you. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

To the guest reviewer who didn't leave a name and said, "this is too much OOC for me": there are warnings in the first two chapters that this is story is AU, AR and the characters will be OOC. I do not believe I would need to put a warning in every chapter so that you know not to read it if it's not to your preference. I suggest for you to write stories that YOU want to read.

People change when they are in love, when they are jealous or if a given situation affects them. Kubo Tite may not have written a love triangle between these characters like in this story, but it's clear how Kubo-san shows what being blinded by love of any form would do to a person. You can see that clearly when Hinamori Momo's personality/character change. I'm applying this same theory to this story, but with more drama and angst.

**WARNINGS:** Alternate Universe. Alternate Reality. Characters may be OOC due to situations being inflicted upon them. In this universe/reality, they are not teenagers but college students already.

' ' denotes thoughts by the character.  
><em>Italics <em> denotes dreaming/flashback

**Disclaimer:** **Bleach concept and characters belong to Kubo Tite. The story is mine. This is for pure entertainment and no money is made from this.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Ginrei decided to check on his granddaughter to see if she was ready to return back to Seireitei. However, he happened to overhear the voice message that Ichigo left for Rukia when she replayed the message the second time.

His heart broke for her hearing her sobbing as silently as possible. He saw her attendant coming back to check up on Rukia after giving her some time alone. He nod to her politely and held up a hand to ask her to wait a moment before going in to check on Rukia.

A few minutes passed and it didn't seem like Rukia was speaking with Ichigo, he gently knocked on the door and then called out to her.

"Rukia, the attendant will be coming in to help you out of your dress if you have not done so. I should take you home now," he told her softly through the door between them.

He heard her blow her nose before stuttering her reply between gasps of air, "Y-yes O-jī-sa-ma."

Ginrei looked at the attendant and gave her a nod indicating that she could go in while he would wait outside her door for her.

While he heard the rustling of fabric, he takes out his cell phone to text two people he knew would help him keep Ichigo from coming to Seireitei. In his heart, he can no longer agree to allow Rukia to marry Ichigo, even if she forgives him. Being over one thousand years old had some advantages. He's learned a lot in his lifetime to know that if Ichigo betrayed her once before they even married, he would most likely do it again. 'Like they say, a leopard cannot change its spots,' his mind told him.

After he sent the texts to his two reliable friends telling them he needs to speak with them in less than 30 minutes time, he then sends a text his grandson next.

"Byakuya, meet Rukia at our Senkaimon gate in 20 minutes. Something has happened. Take care of Rukia and see that she is not disturbed by anyone. I will be back when I am finished here," he tells him in the text.

Within seconds he received two affirmative replies from his friends and then a message back from his grandson that says, "Understood."

One of the many things he admired in his grandson was the fact that he did not need to ask unnecessary questions without thought or reason. His grandson would have understood that if he was sending Rukia back, then it must be urgent and not waste time on gathering the details until he saw her.

Just then the door to Rukia's dressing room opened and she walks out before the attendant.

"O-jī-sa-ma," she greeted him with a broken voice while trying to hold back the tears.

Ginrei didn't need to look at her to see her puffy red eyes and nose to know that she hadn't stop crying since Orihime broke the news to her. If it wasn't for the years of practicing to maintain his calm and composed self, he would have left to tear Ichigo to shreds himself. But if he was allowed to do one thing, it was at this moment where he felt Rukia needed it the most.

He gently embraced her, holding her tightly and told her, "Let's get you home my sweet Rukia."

Rukia was grateful that Ginrei was here and that he didn't need to say anything more. The hug was what she needed for now. She nods in acknowledgement to Ginrei's words and with that, he took her hand and led her out to where everyone else was waiting outside.

As they stepped out towards the front of the salon, Rukia read the empathic eyes of Isshin, Karin, Yuzu and Rangiku. Rukia is relieved that those eyes didn't look at her with pity.

Seeing Rukia's puffy red eyes and nose, Karin and Yuzu approached her and threw their arms around her giving her a big hug.

"You're still our sister. You're still a part of our family," Yuzu quietly tells her as she tightens her arms around Rukia trying to reassure her and on the other hand, wishing Rukia would not leave.

"Don't forget how much you mean to us, even if we have an idiot of a brother," Karin tells her.

Rukia quirks a small smile at Karin's straightforward comment. Leave it to Karin to always call it like it is; who was she to disagree that Ichigo is an idiot.

Keeping her tears at bay, she hugs them back weakly before she pulls back and releases them as she simply says, "Thank you."

As the others observed the three girls embrace, Ginrei approaches Isshin and Rangiku.

"Rangiku-san, would you mind accompanying Rukia through our private Senkaimon? Byakuya will meet you on the other side," Ginrei says to her.

Rangiku knew better to than to question Ginrei why he wasn't accompanying Rukia himself. And if he already arranged for Kuchiki Byakuya to be waiting at the gate on the other side, it must mean business.

"I do not mind at all Kuchiki-sama," she replies.

Isshin asks Ginrei knowingly, "Will you be coming over for a visit Kuchiki-sama?"

"Yes, after I open our private senkaimon and attend to a personal matter before visiting you," he tells Isshin and knows that he has also answered Rangiku's question in her head.

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><p>After parting ways at the wedding salon and then sending Rukia with Rangiku home, Ginrei made his way to Urahara Shōten to meet with his friends. He had a favor to ask and one he hopes they will do without fail.<p>

Upon reaching the small convenience store, his friends stood just outside the door way waiting for him.

"Ginrei-dono," his long time family friend from the Shihōin clan and former member of the Gotei 13 greeted him.

"Kuchiki-sama," greeted his other friend whom he has had the pleasure to have gotten to know better now that he spends a lot more time in the human world. He remembers the day he was present at this man's examination to be taichō of the 12th Division. He was then more than a formidable taichō and shinigami.

"Yoruichi-san, Kisuke-san," he greeted back as they all stepped into the store and made their way back into the personal home of Urahara Kisuke. "Thank you for meeting with me on short notice," he says to them.

"Ginrei-dono, you do not need to be so formal with us. You should know that by now," Yoruichi told her long time friend as if the 100 years that she and Kisuke disappeared from Seireitei had not played a part in stopping their friendship.

As they settled down around a small round table, Kisuke inquisitively asks, "Has something happened Kuchiki-sama?"

Yoruichi pours the genamicha for the three of them it seems they are about to begin a serious conversation.

"Orihime announced today during Rukia's final fitting that she is carrying Ichigo's unborn child," he says straight out but with a hint of the icy bitter tone that Yoruichi knows it means that he is angry.

It was not like Ginrei to make jokes or say things without examining the truth. Yoruichi knows Ginrei better than anyone that served in the Gotei 13. So without any doubts, she believes him. But she was internally surprised by how Ginrei did not notice the obvious from seeing Orihime interact with Ichigo. Yoruichi and Kisuke looked at each other when Ginrei told them all that happened prior to him visiting.

If Ginrei was expecting both of them to be shocked, he was in for a surprise. Neither of them seemed fazed by this news and it slightly surprised him. However, upon realizing that they must have suspected something, his eyes narrows in annoyance as he thinks, 'If they knew, why did they not tell me?'

"Ginrei-dono, it's not that we knew a head of time this would have happened," Yoruichi says quickly when she saw Ginrei's eyes narrow. "It's that…"

"Inoue Orihime is an unstable and unpredictable girl. And it has been fairly obvious that she's been in love with Ichigo for a very long time; fawning over him to the point of stalking him," Kisuke adds.

"I see," was all Ginrei could say as he takes a drink of his tea and ponders on the information Kisuke just told him.

"Ginrei-dono, I take it that Rukia has already returned to Kuchiki manor seeing that she isn't with you. Nor would you have left her with Isshin," Yoruichi surmises.

Ginrei nods validating her assumption.

"I take it then you're not just here to vent?" she asks knowingly.

Putting his tea cup down, he says calmly with a very stern gaze, "I want you both to not let Ichigo use the senkaimon for any reason. I do not want Rukia to be hurt further."

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><p>As the Kurosakis made their way home, they each were lost in their own thoughts. Ichigo has to answer to Orihime's claim that she's carrying his unborn child. Being a responsible parent and adult, Isshin knew that Ichigo would need to break off the engagement with Rukia and marry Orihime, even if Isshin didn't approve of this. He didn't want Orihime as his daughter-in-law. She had already proven today she had no scruples. And that was a major strike out in his books.<p>

Deep down, Isshin also knew that Ginrei would not want Rukia to be married to his bastard son for shaming her in such a way. He couldn't imagine dealing with the love of his life knowing that out there, there exists a child that your significant other created with another person; especially if that child will have a part in their life. It would be a constant reminder of the betrayal. Not to mention the trust issues that would cause them grief for years to come.

Shaking his head at his thoughts, he could not come up with a resolution that would make everyone happy. Someone will have to be sacrificed and pay the ultimate price. He wishes he could have spared Rukia from this pain.

"Now the question is, "what to do about Ichigo and Orihime?"" he mutter under his breath as he let out a deep sigh.

It wasn't long before they were walking up to the front door of their home. They all had somber looks upon their faces. In their own way, they each knew they would have to see Ichigo sooner or later. It was time to face things head on.

Opening the door for his girls, Yuzu stepped inside first, followed by Karin and then Isshin walked in closing the door behind.

Ichigo comes into the hallway thinking that it was Rukia returning home. He isn't surprised to see his own family. He looks past Isshin thinking and hoping Rukia was standing hidden behind his father. She isn't there and Ichigo couldn't help but looks down in despair.

But the longing, disappointment and mild shock that Isshin saw in his son's eyes told him that Ichigo had hoped Rukia would be with them. And it also meant that Ichigo knew what has happened. He would not have put it pass Orihime to contact Ichigo immediately after she had left then at the boutique.

**POW!**

Without giving the appropriate greeting that is typical of coming home and saying, "Tadaima," Karin lands a punch into Ichigo's gut.

"YOU JERK!" Karin yells after she surprises him and taking his breath away. She may not be big for a female of her size and height, but boy, could she give her fair share of punches and kicks as any martial art expert.

"Karin," Yuzu says as she pulls her back and away from Ichigo. "Let's…let's go inside. It's too closed up in here," she stutters as she desperately drags Karin away. She wants to rip into Ichigo too once she saw him looking as if nothing happened. But right now, she needed some space between them and fighting by the front door would not solve anything.

Isshin had his arms folded across his chest watching his daughter belt a gut wrenching punch into Ichigo's stomach. He couldn't blame her because truth be told, he wants to do that as well. Hell, there was a line forming behind him waiting for their turn to punch him. He wouldn't be surprised if one Kuchiki taichō shows up before the end of night destroying Ichigo's room. 'I better make myself and the girls scarce by night fall just in case,' he thinks to himself. He knows Ichigo would be fine taking care of himself; a few bumps and bruises would do the boy some good he rationalize.

Ichigo grimaces in discomfort from Karin's blow. He would have expected his father to punch him, but not Karin. He looks up from the floor he was sitting seeing that his dad stood there silently observing.

A few seconds of silence fell between them. Ichigo knew he should say something, but he didn't know what to say. He had planned on speaking with Rukia first. Obviously the best laid plans never follows through.

"Kuchiki-sama will be here soon to see you," he tells him with a stern expression. "And you better have a solution to problem you created," he warns him as he walks by him without helping him up off the floor.

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><p>Kuchiki Byakuya taichō walks up to the Senkaimon gate near the Kuchiki manor. His own private guards had already lined up for his arrival. He had a couple of minutes to think about things before the gate opens with his adopted sister returning from the human world. He had to admit that it was on very rare occasion that his grandfather would send him a text message. He surmised that it must have been something of great importance for him to do so. Plus the message itself created a lot of unease within him. He wanted to have asked his grandfather if anything bad had happened to Rukia since he was told to take care of her and to make sure she isn't disturbed. He knew his grandfather well enough to know that if he didn't supply further information, he would only have to wait a bit for the information would somehow supply itself. At least in Byakuya's case, this happens quite often.<p>

With the Senkaimon opening, Byakuya's attention was drawn to the two women walking through the gate. Both women had solemn expressions, but the one he cared most about had puffy red eyes and nose. Byakuya's slate gray eyes narrows as they come closer towards him and he could clearly make out the tear stained trails on her pretty face. Byakuya felt his muscles tighten and his resolve nearly crumbling in its desire to reach out and embrace Rukia tightly. She's his pride and he'll be damned if any one hurts her in any way, shape or form.

"Kuchiki taichō," Rangiku greet as they were only a few feet from each other.

"Onii-sama," greeted Rukia in a monotone voice. Rukia's monotone words sounded strange to her own ears.

Byakuya notices now that there was no life in the words she spoke or in her eyes. He could help wonder just what the hell had happened.

"Matsumoto fukutaichō, Rukia," he greeted them though his eyes never left Rukia's.

As if reading his thoughts, Rukia takes out her cell phone and shows Byakuya the text message she sent to Ichigo. She didn't trust herself to say the words. She did not want to cry in front of him and not be the proper Kuchiki that everyone, including herself, expects her to be.

The climate in an instant changed dramatically. A gust of wind swirled around them encapsulating everyone within 30 yards (27.4 meters) as they felt an imaginary force pushing its weight down on them, oppressing them.

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><p>AN: Thank you for reading. If you would like to know when I update, you can always check the bottom of my profile page to see update status.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Just a quick update & response to guest reviews.  
><strong>Real life has been busy and I do not know when I'll get the chance to post the next chapter. And of course my muse, best friend and "sister" is currently expecting so real life things have taken precedence over writing. I do however wanted to respond to some guest reviews that I have received in the last two days.

Update: Dec. 14, 2014 - I got this review in my email and I felt it should be shared with all of you. I will let all of you decide on this one even though I have said my peace:

To Guest reviewer (sheenarose): sheenarose wrote: "I don't think you like Ichigo.  
>You're one of those Ichiruki fans who like Rukia more and turns Ichigo into an annoying and childish brat.<br>You're portrayal of Ichigo is an insult to the character.  
>And if Rukia is still in soul form or gigai, then does this means that Ichigo is a necrophiliac?<br>And Rukia is marrying Ichigo, which means she is a p***?  
>Oh gosh, then these two deserve each other. Too bad Orihime has to step in and ruin your fun."<p>

Sheenarose, the story just started so how would you know if I am a Ichiruki fan or not. And what makes you think that you know how this story will end? As far as the insult to Ichigo's character, I believe that right is reserved by Kubo-san since Kubo-san created Ichigo and not you or any one else in this matter. Wow, since you believe Ichigo is a necrophiliac, then you would hold that same belief to his mother, Masaki right? After all, Ichigo and his sisters are the result of Masaki's coupling with a dead person.

To Guest reviewer (kuku3): kuku3 wrote: "Please take this down from Ichigo-Orihime filter. I haven't read your story nor do I intend to. But seeing as your fellow IR shippers bashing Orihime is really disrespectful to the character. Anyway, my comment isn't going to change your pitiful perception. You people greatly disregard the bond between Rukia and Orihime. I feel sorry for you as a fellow Bleach fan who couldn't understand the meaning of the show and 'nakama' itself. Meh. Not that I expect anything more from haters. You are free to do whatever you want. But please take this story down from Ichi-Hime filter. It is really a pain to see IH haters in this filter when they obviously insult Orihime like this. I hope you do pay heed to my request. Just keep the main character names so we don't have to go this. I would have logged in to drop the message but do feel free to drop by a message if you are offended. :)  
>Thank you. :)"<br>Thank you for your review on something you've not read. It takes a certain maturity to write something based on a description or upon other people's reviews. However, to clarify one of your point of your review, I am not an Orihime hater or fan. I have another fic where she is quite good friends with Rukia. But the story is not about whether someone hates her or not. It's about a situation that happens a lot based on jealousy, love and heartache. Friends have often hurts each other, even if they are good friends. It does happen. And I'm using it to write out a story. But the story does involve Ichigo, Rukia and Orihime in a love triangle. You may not like it. Orihime fans doesn't like it. But I didn't write this story for the masses. I find it funny how all people who are not native Japanese feel they know the characters that Kubo-san writes and portrays them better than anyone else. And how they think they are justified that it should be this way or that way. This is fiction. It's either going bore you, make you like it, make you hate it, or make you feel indifferent. If people take fanfiction seriously then they obviously have way too much time on their hands. No one makes money writing these stories. And it's not like it's trying to garner fans for your work. It's just a way for creative outlet for those who want to share their stories. And other sites that hold fan based fiction are open to writers of various backgrounds, degrees and creativity. But snapping at others and being derogatory to their work is uncalled for.

To Guest reviewer (Bella): You wrote: "Although this story is au, you should have stayed true to the canonical facts. Some of your lines are full of errors and you gave so many wrong , you only apologized and warned the readers about the occness of the characters and not about the errors so your mistakes can never be ignored. I'm sorry but according to you this story is all about angst which has the making of a tragedy." Alternate Universe/Alternate Reality means just that. I do not have to stick with the cannon since it's not along the Bleach plotline/story and it has nothing to do with Kubo-san's plot/storyline. That is a writer's choice. Yes, that is correct that this is PURE ANGST & Drama. A "tragedy" you say? To me, it will be a tragedy if I start writing off the characters by killing them. However, I do not see the story of "You Cannot Have" as a tragedy.

To Guest reviewer (Honey): I make no apologies for the characters to be OOC. As I have indicated in my warnings and note, this is AU and the characters will be OCC. This story's theme is based off of the song so it will follow the sentiment and drama of that song. This story is not about keeping up with Kubo-san's version of his character or with the Bleach plot line. And at no time in any of my chapters or other stories do I say, "please read and review." I only write a "thank you" to the ones who do take the time to read and review. I do not need to justify my right to moderate the reviews. That's why gave the authors the option to moderate the reviews at our discretion. I am one of those authors who write for themselves and for a few who happened to like the same plot/ideas/views.

To Guest reviewer (Annabelle): Your opinion that this is "To much OOC is jarring...  
>A promising fanfiction turned into a disappointment..." (I cut and paste from the 's email notification so it's your exact wording) is your opinion. And I am sure there are others that feel that way too. However, I didn't write this story for the masses that shares this view.<p> 


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